Dinner Party Invitation prompts a Rebuttal??!

I decided to invite a few neighborhood mothers to a dinner, to be held on a monthly basis, so we could get out of the house and dress up and enjoy adult chit chat - and eat a meal using utensils instead of our bare hands. I called the dinner "Hell or High Water". Here's a sample invite, edited to protect the innocent:

Greetings Mommy!

You are invited to my second

Hell or High Water Dinner party

Where: a restaurant

When: Wednesday, June 23, 2004 at 6:30 PM to 8:30, so we can be home in time to tuck up our bundles of joy.

Why: Why not?

This is the start of a monthly thing; we as mothers, of tots, toddlers, tweens, teens and twins need a break! AND we also need a night out at least once a month just for fun, right?! The name, Hell or High Water means that, no matter what, we will give our-selves a night out, for a meal (that we didn't have to plan, buy, organize and then cook) and be committed to it.

Each month we can pick a new restaurant for the next Hell or High Water, and keep it fresh and fun. Last month we went to A Restaurant, and apart from my spilling a glass of water all over the place (including on my own lap!), the waitress thinking we were jerks and someone being 45 minutes late, it went very well. This month promises to be just as exciting! Maybe I'll spill a cup of coffee instead..

RSVP!

Love,

me

Well, one of the ladies who attended the last dinner told me, during our morning jog today, that Somebody's Husband and written a REBUTTAL to the invitation for the next H and HW, which I had mailed out. I was a little confused... a REBUTTAL to an invitation to a dinner? "Oh, it's a joke!" she said. Well, the Someone came by and actually handed me this rebuttal, which is in memo form, clearly imitating my invite. Here it is in all its grammatically incorrect and awkwardly phrased glory:



To: Victims of Hell or High Water Dinner Party

From: The husband's name

Gentlemen:


Recently it has come to my attention that certain individuals in our lives have decided that they will be conducting monthly dinner meetings to discuss motherhood, come Hell or High Water. At this point I feel it is necessary to provide some insight into our lovely bride's minds. We too are supper making, clothes washing, diaper changing, child rearing and window washing people. We have feelings. Maybe it is high time that we fathers get together on a weekly basis to discuss our trials and tribulations of fatherhood. Eventually, if we are allowed to vent our true feeling maybe we can become part of the respectable community known as parents. I think that these informal get-togethers will help us relieve the every day stresses of being the head of the household. If these therapy sessions go well, maybe we will be able to better communicate with our better halves that we are valuable participants in the family and should be at least be kept around for odd jobs and the occasional foot rub.

Yours truly,

The under-appreciated and easily forgotten father


I read it and was absolutely furious. Putting yourself out there on a blog, for example, invites comment and rebuttal. But an invitation to dinner??! Who debates an invitation? If you're not into going out with me, just say no.

My H and HW dinner is not a dinner meeting to discuss motherhood. There's no agenda. It's just a dinner; an excuse for a lonely person to get dressed up and go out socializing and eat something. I have an entire wardrobe of pretty things languinshing in my closet, going out of style, and I want to wear 'em ( how long do you think silk cargo pants will be cool?). I have an entire mind full of amusing stories going stale( did I tell you about the time I was on a commuter train that caught on fire? Oh, it was so funny...) . I am a mother and I am glad to be. However, a few hours away from my babies and the sometimes boring cycle of day to day life is refreshing, and makes me a better mother. I shouldn't be surprised a man can't understand that a stay-home mother of twins may need to get out of house without a baby or two attached once a month. Oh, sorry! I go out twice a month,; I have the Mother of Twins Club meetings every second Tuesday....

What killed me about that rebuttal in the form of a mocking memo - henceforth to be referred to as "The Memo" - was the suggestion of a weekly guy get together. Oh! What a novel idea! A bunch of husbands go out after work, leaving the wives and children at home, and have a few drinks and relax and talk about MAN things, such as being the head of the household. Didn't our fathers and grandfathers and their fathers do just that for generations? Weren’t there men's clubs to provide just that escape? Didn’t a little something called the Womens' Liberation Movement attempt to change all that and help foster a sense of responsibility in a father?

There are a lot of responsible, caring, thoughtful daddies out there. I see them all around me, and I'm married to the best of them. He understands me and knows that I actually have a real need to go out on my own, as a person, not only as a mother, once in a while. He does not see himself as a Victim of abandonment as The Memo states. But then again, unlike The Memo's author, my husband doesn't wash windows.