Schedule, schmedule

Schedule, schmedule. To me that’s a bad word. Someone tells me, “the baby is on a schedule”, and I hear, “I only feed the baby when it suits me, according to an arbitrary timetable.” I know, I know, everyone has their own way of doing things, and to some a schedule is a necessity. I would never think someone else is raising their children wrong, and certainly do not say that to the person who is sharing their advice, experiences, and/or scheduling tips, but for what it's worth, this is my opinion: since I’m not on a schedule, my babies aren’t either.

(I read this intro bit aloud to my DH, who said – “But you are on a kind of schedule, Honey. You wake up around the same time each day.” I had to gently remind him I go by the babies’ cues, as does he. We get up sometime between 5:00 and 8:00 am. We eat breakfast sometime between 5:30 and 8:00 am. He leaves for work at 8:15, and I try to have my lunch, when I get it, sometime between 10:30 am and 3:00 pm. If I plan on running that night, I don’t have an afternoon snack, but if I am not running, I feel free to snack on whatever the boys toss on the floor during their tea, which is served sometime between 2:30 and 5:30. Oh, yeah, that is quite a tight schedule! Sounds like the schedule for flight departures at the local crop duster airport.)

The only thing that scheduled in my house seems to be the 8:25 am poop-fest and the afternoon Who can Overflow the Diaper contest at 4:30. Funny, both of my boys have their biggest, messiest diapers at the same times each day, and funny, those times seem to be just as my DH leaves for work (so he can’t help out or he’ll be late) and just before the baby sitter comes in the afternoons (therefore, she can’t help out either). Ever tried to change one baby while the other crawls all over you and the changee? It’s especially fun when the Baby A is doing his won’t-lie-down-to-be-changed thing and I wind up holding him by one leg, half upside down, like a greased wild piglet at a rodeo. This baby usually shrieks during changes like an ancient Christian martyr during a particularly trying session with an Inquisitor. The other baby, who feels he is being ignored and neglected, will weep bitter tears as I am forced to push him away, to prevent him from grabbing the full diaper and waving it about, sending the contents flying. (And yes, it has happened). Then Baby A, fresh and sweet in his new Huggie (size 4, yes my boys are somewhat small for their age), wants to play/nurse/be held! Sorry, sugar pop! I must needs shove you to the side so Baby B can have his posterior tidied up.

Now, I am exhausted.

One day, the baby sitter came by a bit early, at 4:15, and she was there for the Overflow Competition. I had her do the restraining so I could change Baby A, then I did the restraining while she changed Baby B, who is a little less like a Whirling Dervish. Baby B will lie there, quite nicely, as long as he can occupy himself by grabbing his little wiener and yanking away. However, he does screech and cry when you remove his hands from his Atari joystick so you can pull up the diaper and fasten it closed. “Don’t take my toy away!” I can hear him cry, “I just found out about it!” With two people around, it didn’t take as long to do the afternoon change as it usually does, and I was just about to comment how easy that was when the sitter says – “Wow. I’m all hot and sweaty now.” Hmmm. I guess “easy” means different things to different people.
Schedule, schmedule…each to his or her own, and God Bless everyone!