You can't take it with you, Baby

As I was nursing my twins today, I remembered a bit of advice given in those early, blurry days of being home with the new babies. A friend suggested I leave a nursing top or nightshirt in the co-sleeper with the babies so they could smell me and not miss me so much. She said – “If they can smell the milk, they might sleep a little longer.” This was when they were nursing all day and all night, 24 times a day, every hour on the hour and I was just exhausted. So, I took the tip and left an unwashed nursing top in the co-sleeper and put one of the babies on top of it when he fell asleep for a nap. A few minutes later, I heard him crying and choking. I ran in the room to see he had stuffed the milky shirt into his mouth and was gagging on it, crying for me and rooting like mad. My babies aren’t easily fooled.

I just read the clever Andi Buchanan’s Mother Shock today, and could really relate to the chapter on breast-feeding. Her view is whether you do it or not, are successful or not, whether you breastfeed for two years or two weeks, everyone has an opinion on how you are doing it wrong. I have heard sooo much about my nursing the twins to get it all down would take more time than I can ever find in a day. Suffice it to say, I’ve ignored most of it, because I knew I wanted to breastfeed my twins and I knew it would be very tough. I actually expected to have more problems than I did. I just (ha ha "just" – I was weeping in agony for five weeks – just!) got an infection on the skin and the babies would tear off the scabs every time they nursed. I am sure it would have cleared up sooner, with the cream I was prescribed by the breast specialist, but since I was supposed to apply the cream to the “affected area” and let it soak in for an hour, I had a problem. I never got an hour without someone sucking on me. The babies were nursing every 20 minutes, therefore it took quite a while to clear up. However, that was my only problem.

They are expert nurslings now. They can nurse in any position and at any time, anywhere and in any situation. I’ve nursed them in various relative’s homes, in parks, coffee shops, restaurants, museums, in the car, in the bathtub, outside in the snow, wind and rain, whilst walking, in bed, sitting on the potty, in the supermarket in the sling…everywhere. They are strong, too, and it can be hard to unlatch them. Once I was on the phone, and had to rest the baby’s bottom on the kitchen counter to have a free hand to jot down a message, because I had the phone in the other hand, and the baby refused to unplug himself to let me put him down for thirty seconds.

They are also at the athletic nursing stage. Some mamas find this bothersome; a baby who likes to hang over your shoulder whilst nursing, or who tries to nurse with his bottom in the air. I find their athletic abilities rather useful – at night I can side nurse one baby while the other hangs over my rib cage and nurses on the other side. Then, when the draped baby has had enough, he detaches and falls off me like a big tick that has sucked his fill, and falls asleep. Hey, you do what you have to do to get some sleep.

However, the athletic nursing has its drawbacks – it can be painful and embarrassing. Just picture a baby who tries to crawl away whilst nursing, attempting to pull the nipple along with him on his travels. No, Honey-baby! Haven’t you heard the expression “You can’t take it with you?” And there are babies who whip their heads around to see what’s going on, again trying to take the nipple along, just in case. Yikes!

The embarrassing part is when you are in a public place, like a café or the supermarket, and the infant Olympian suddenly writhes out of your grasp and screams to be put down so he can crawl. Ok Ok, Mr. Universe! I know you can get around on your own. This happened to me in Stop and Shop, when I just couldn’t hold my twin A anymore. I had to put the baby down to crawl on his own for a few minutes and I could see people glancing over. “Ah,” I thought, “They are admiring my lovely baby.” But it’s more likely they were startled at the sight of my boob sticking out of the nursing top – I forgot to put it away. Good thing I'm pretty shameless - but bold as I am, I almost blushed.

Addendum: I can't say I ignored all the advice given. My sister, of course, gave me some useful tips, as did the lactation consultant who came to see me during week seven, but, like many, many first time nursing mamas, I had to invent the wheel all over again, by myself.