Second time around

Second children, and/or second pregnancies, are like marriage after a divorce; it's the triumph of hope over reason.

Last night my twins fell asleep at 8:00 and 8:30 and then woke up again at 11:00 and 11:30. I nursed them one at a time, them together until about 2:00, and then I gave up. We all got out of bed; the DH included, and gave them a snack. They devoured a whole banana each (Aha! They were hungry!) and ran around a bit turning lights on and off. (Aha! They were bored!) The DH then took them for a ride in the car; they were quite cute about it, chatting and laughing in their car seats, in anticipation of an outing...at THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING. While they were out I did some ironing, rolled out some croissants for a party and had a snack myself.

Then they came home, woke up almost immediately, started screaming and had another nursing frenzy until about 5:30. (Aha! They were thirsty!) THEN they fell asleep (Aha! They were tired!) until 7:30 and ate a huge breakfast. (Aha! They were hungry!)

I got about ZERO hours of sleep, the DH had about the same, and as a result I was somewhat zombiefied at the playgroup today. (Yes, I went to the playgroup. There was no way I was going to stay home with two unpredictable beasties after no sleep. The playground offers more scope for distraction than an exhausted grouchy mama alone in a house. ) They had a great time on the slide, they each had a snack and a meltdown and both fell asleep in the car en route home. (Aha! They have no idea what they want!)

After a few cups of coffee and a bowl of soup I feel okay, but still a bit shaky and worn out. Last night, as I lay dying, I kept thinking about all my friends who are having second and third children, who are expecting twins, who want bigger families and who seem happy about it. Are they effing nuts? Why else would anyone willing enter a situation that entails late night torture at the hands of a merciless toddler? What part of the sleepless night/messy house/ destroyed body/grey haired/wrinkled face present makes someone want to reproduce it at a future date?

Back when I was a know it all/self-righteous pregnant person, I couldn't imagine wanting to go for a walk without my precious babies in tow as well. Now I can't imagine hanging on to my precious sanity with my babies in tow as well.

Who do I have to f**k to get some sleep around here? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller? And don't suggest the DH; he’s too wrung out to consider anything more strenuous than a BJ.

And he might fall asleep on me at that...