Random Thoughts...Part Three
Briefly on planning your day(s) ----EDITED
When one is making plans with someone to meet up, one usually makes the plan for a certain time, say, one o’clock for lunch. This we all know. When one is making plans to meet someone when there is a baby involved, one needs to make the time a bit more vague, say, sometime between twelve and two for lunch.
When one is making plans and there are twins involved, the timeline is more like that of a cable company letting the client know when the repair man will be at the house, you know, the six hour window. Ever tried putting two little people who can't really walk into carseats by yourself? And carry the diaper bag and the umbrella and the essential travel mug of coffee all at the same time? Mothers of twins know what I mean. I now can open the car door with my foot.
Through this blog I have heard from a few mothers of triplets. They would probably tell me that when there are triplets involved, plans made must be rather flexible, to allow the get-together to span a couple of days. Sometimes I think what it would be like if I had carried all three babies to term, then I don’t think about it anymore. I’m not strong enough.
Edit --- It just occurred to me that perhaps there are mothers out there who have read this nattering and thought, "Well, hey now! My two/three/four/etc are only 10/11/12/13/etc months apart! I had a newborn AND a little one who could not walk, or speak, and who was still in diapers too! Who the hell does this MOT think she is, with her Twin Mamas have it so hard, and have to hop up and down on one foot whilst holding two squalling infants, and open the car door with a foot? I have done just the same thing, and since I live in San Francisco, I had to do it on a 45 degree hill!" To this invented/made up/imagined lady out there, I meant no offense and beg to be allowed to apologize.
posted by Mother of Twins & More @ 9:05 AM
7 Comments:
Okay, there was very little lunching going on when the kids were that little, unless they were at home with the 2-day-a-week nanny or Daddy. Actually, if it was with say my sister or niece, I could actually make solid plans - (I bottle fed and switched to cups at 9 months) and they would help with the boys (they'd feed and entertain one and I'd do the other two). Although very little talking got done, just much feeding. If it were with "other people" that you didn't feel comfortable enlisting as "surrogate feeders" it didn't work out so well.
Lunching at a friend or family member's home was a great alternative, because you could be much more informal and flexible. Of course, having someone over to your own house (provided you have the time to clean it!) is the BEST alternative - home turf and all. Have a girlfriend over to your house so you can have a leisurely visit, feed and nap the kids normally and then there's even some alone time with you and said friend! The friend gets to observe you in all of your glory and they'll think you're a STAR and a wonderful mother, because "they just don't know how you do it"!
YEAH, what she said. remember our 'walk' that turned into feeding and chatting? that seemed to work well for you, yes?
N, you are a great person and I hope you'll brave a visit again soon. Anyone else want to come over? I am home most days/afternoons/nights and always have yummy snacks and a fully stocked bar. (for those with a designated driver)
Um actually at the risk of offending some of your readers.. having 2 that are close in age is really not the same as having twins. Yes, it is hard still but as my SIL said (hers are 17 mo apart) after babysitting my two: WOW this really *is* different.
I'm at the point where it really bugs me when people say that scant age difference is "just like twins." Ok.. no it isn't, yes scant age difference is hard, but having 2 that are 3 months old is much different than having a 3 mo old and even a 12 month old--if only because the 12 month old is probably sleeping longer stretches and can sit alone.
Anyone wants to disagree--fine you can walk in my shoes for a while.
Library Lil
http://library-lil.diaryland.com
Yay Library Lil! That is what I have been trying to tell all and sundry for the past 13 months! "You don't know how I feel unless..." has been something I have said a lot and I've not only run the risk of offense, I HAVE offended. Ya can't win.
You shouldn't worry about offending anyone, the only ones you might offend are those without compassion. Who the hell wants people like that hanging around here anyway? Oh, whoops, have I offended someone? Hee hee
Hi there, as a mother of triplets, I wanted to let you know that in the first year of the triplets birth, I did not leave the house with the triplets to go to anyone's house, all on my own. I would only go out with them with another friend/relative/husband along. It was just too hard on me. I still haven't brought them all at the same time to a friend's house, and they are 2 and a half now, just because most people's homes aren't babyproofed, and I can't handle 3 in a new place on my own. I will take them out in the stroller and they will STAY in stroller the entire time!
Vicki - www.geocities.com/scizzorhappyone/index.html
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