A knock on the head will get you out of a blue funk for sure…

Especially if the knock on the head happened to your fourteen month old. I've been feeling very low and depressed lately, but today I feel as if there are more crucial things in life than my grumpy moods. Last night, Twin A, the smaller, feistier, and more agile baby was climbing out of the laundry basket, when he fell and hit his head on the kitchen lino. I was sitting at the table; my DH was sitting on the floor with them. I heard the clunk of a little skull on the floor, but didn’t hear the normal scream. Then my DH said, “Honey, I think he’s really hurt.” I put my sewing to the side and looked down. My heart froze in my chest.

I saw my little baby, lying in his father's arms, white faced, silent, panting shallowly, with his eyes rolled back in his head. I got the phone and called 911. As we were waiting for the paramedics, and as I described the situation to the EMS dispatcher, the baby’s pupils got huge, his lips started to turn blue, and his little hands and feet began to twitch. I admit I got a little panicked, and said to he dispatcher “We need someone NOW.”

But as we waited, his little gasping breaths became deeper, and he started to whimper, then to cry. I was so glad to hear him cry! He pinked up, looked around a little, then closed his eyes and I took him in my arms. He cried and cried and then the door burst open.

Two police people came in, one man, one woman, and they picked him up, shone a light in his eyes to see if his pupils contracted, patted his cheeks and tried to keep him awake. The policewoman said to her partner “If the ambulance isn’t here in 30 seconds I’m taking him myself.” But the EMS did arrive and they took the baby and me to the same hospital where he was born. My DH followed behind and my other baby stayed with a neighbor. (Who told me later that he asked for Mama a few times and then fell asleep right at 8:45. What a sweet predictable boy! Sometimes having a schedule works. Baby B had his dinner at 6, his bath at 7, his snack at 7:45, played until 8:30 then, just because it wasn’t his Mama, and just because his brother was in an ambulance speeding towards a hospital, he didn’t let it shake him. Bedtime is 8:30/9:00, so he went to sleep at 8:45. Of course, when we got home at midnight, and he realized I was around and available for nursing, he started carrying on, but that’s normal.)

Twin A fell asleep on the way to the ER, and when we arrived at the hospital, the baby all wrapped in those stiff restraints, with his head and neck in a brace, we went right to the Pediatric ER. They asked all the usual questions, age, weight, name, and also for the details of what happened. I kept having to repeat, “He was white faced, gasping, and his eyes were rolled back in his head. At one point his pupils were dilated, his lips started to turn blue, and his little hands and feet began to twitch.” He was examined and two doctors and three nurses kept poking him and prodding him and trying to wake him up. Finally he did wake up and really started crying. They stood him up, and he threw himself at me, sobbing. Everyone seemed happy to see that; it meant he was acting like a normal, tired, frightened little boy. Monitors and wires and gauges were attached and as I nursed him he fell asleep again. They ordered a CAT Scan, which he slept through, the results came back normal, and we went home.

While we were sitting in the examining room, holding him and rocking him and going over what had happened, my DH kept saying, “I am a bad father.” I kept telling him he was a good father and that accidents just happen. I am very glad we were right there; if we had been in the next room, heard a thump, and no crying, we might not have thought anything serious had happened. Can you imagine how you would feel to hear a thump, no cry, and to go into the next room a few minutes later to see your baby lying unconscious on the floor? As it was, I immediately put a cold pack on his head; we stroked his limbs, kept him warm and actually kept him conscious, which helped the situation. I think it was the pain and the shock that caused him to feel faint. I know I pass out when in severe pain; I fainted twice during a tattoo session, once when I slashed open four fingers on an old fish tank and once when I had the worst intestinal cramps ever. Oh, and the fifth time was in a movie theater; I wasn’t feeling well, I was watching a guy on the screen slice open his own arm, and had a vagus vagal episode and passed out. The movie was A Beautiful Mind. I still haven’t seen the ending.

Twin A slept pretty much from his bedtime of 8:45 to 7:00 am, only waking up when prodded by medical personnel, and when he was taken out of the car. It was about 20 degrees outside last night. (I am very glad he slept through the Cat Scan. That could be scary for a little guy.) The DH and I and both babies all slept in the same bed, wrapped around each other, and were happy to do so. My poor, angel baby. I am so relieved and still upset, but I am sure I’ll get over it soon. I bet by the time he’s ready to drive I’ll be back to saying “No!”