Breastfeeding 102 - The class continues…..

Disclaimer: I can’t address my thoughts on nursing from any other viewpoint but my own, so please forgive any sweeping statements that seem high and mighty, but that you, from your own experiences, might disagree with.


The class continues…..

With a few breastfeeding myths, debunked by yours truly.

Myth One: Breastfed babies are skinnier than formula fed babies. Or, depending on the source, formula fed babies are skinnier than breast fed babies.

People, I have my own controlled experiment at home, as do all other mothers of twins. I am breastfeeding both babies, and I had to exclusively breastfed Twin B, because he was showing signs of allergies. Twin A got some formula at night when I, selfish selfish selfish mother! tried to, guilt guilt guilt! get some sleep. Guess who weighs more? You got it - Twin B. I believe the plumpness of the baby depends on genes, how much the baby eats and how often he feeds, not on whether the baby was nursed or bottle-fed.


Myth Two: Breastfeeding gets the baby so attached to you that he cannot go to sleep/ take a nap without a boob nearby. Of the same theme is the myth: Breastfeeding gets the baby so attached to you that the poor child is unable to be held by, or be comforted by, anyone else but his mother.

Again, I must refer to my own experiment in the mad scientist lab of my life, and point out: It depends on the baby! Twin B, my exclusively breast milk fed boy, was nursed to sleep by me, every night of his life, until he was about six months old. Then, thanks to my boys’ passion for solid foods, and the fact that Twin A usually falls asleep a little later than Twin B, I would nurse Twin B a little, then hand him over to the DH to be rocked to sleep. We still do this; get Twin B to sleep first, then Twin A, who generally parties for up to an hour later than his brother. However, it is interesting to note that Twin A wakes up twice or more in the night, shrieking for his mother and for nursing. Twin B, my exclusively breastfed baby, the one who should, in theory, need to be with me every second of the day and night, generally sleeps until 1:00 am, nurses for two seconds and falls asleep. He can also have a sip of milk from a cup, and fall asleep again, if I am otherwise occupied. With Twin B I have found that sometimes the breastfeeding distracts him from sleeping, and he is actually more wakeful. So, it’s exactly the opposite from what the breastfeeding-will-spoil-those-babies people have predicted.

My theory is that babies need to nurse and need to suck. If the need is not satisfied by breastfeeding and sucking for comfort whenever and wherever the baby feels the urge to suckle, the baby will be even more needy as a result of the denial. This is how I explain a four year old with a pacifier. This hypothetical baby was weaned too soon, and therefore latched onto a rubber nipple as breast substitute. I know a woman who weaned her two daughters at eight months and at ten months. She told me they would then toddle around the house sucking on bottles of juice constantly, so she knows they still had some sucking needs to satisfy. But, she said she weaned them because the breast milk was "just not enough food" for them and they needed more nourishment. Well, duh. My boys eat a lot and they nurse a lot. The eating is to fill a hunger in the tummy and the nursing is to fill the hunger in their baby hearts.

I think my twin who had to have formula still remembers, somewhere in his baby mind, the nights when he called for me and I wasn’t there. That’s why he gets a little desperate at night when he calls out “Mama nana mama!” He is afraid I may not come to him, even though I sleep right next to him, every night. Poor baby.

Myth Three: If you nurse during pregnancy, you will take milk away from the new baby. Partnered with this myth is the – You can’t have enough milk for two at once!

Let me tell you, the only reason I used formula was so I could rest, not because I had an insufficient milk supply. I know a lovely lady who nursed her two year old son while she was pregnant, had a healthy ten pound boy and proceeded to nurse both babies until the son was three and the daughter is still nursing. So, doing the math, yes, she was breastfeeding a month old baby and a three year old at the same time for a brief spell. Everyone is hale and hearty, and the baby was not deprived one bit.

As far as I am concerned, I had, and still have, plenty of milk for both twins, and more. Does anyone have a hungry nursling? I'm happy to feed them if you need me to! My boobs get a little too full for comfort sometimes, like when my boys get all involved in a demolition job and forget to nurse. Or when they had their nasty, painful mouth sores, (see this post) and they couldn't nurse properly for days. I had to pump milk and give it to them in a cup; their mouths were too sore to suck properly. At one point I had ten ounces in the fridge, and was ready to pump more. It’s a matter of supply and demand, my friends. The babies are plenty demanding, so a nursing mother supplies what they need.

Of course, I am fully aware of situations where nursing is not possible, and formula is a literal life saver, but I can’t address those situations in detail because I am too unfamiliar with the details. I do know of a woman, actually several women, who have tried to nurse, and were not able to for medical reasons. One of the ladies I know is my aunt, who became very ill at the end of her pregnancy, actually lost weight before she gave birth and did not have sufficient body fat to nurse. She was broken hearted about it, and still mourns the loss of a nursing relationship with her daughter.

Nowhere in this post do I intend on insulting those who are not able to breastfeed – I am able, and I am willing and I hope to encourage those who want to give it a go.

So for you all – be careful! There are many more myths circulating in our common culture, all designed to get new mothers, for whom nursing is a real option, to use formula instead. From the very beginning, even in the hospital, I heard comments like, “Stop shoving that boob in his face! He won’t be able to get to sleep any other way!” and “You gave him a bottle? What you have given up already?” (It was pumped milk, and thanks for the encouragement.) and “Oh, I couldn’t nurse my twins. I just didn’t have enough milk.” And “Be sure to give Twin B some formula to plump him up after he’s nursed. He needs to gain weight.” None of these comments were deterrents to me; I tend to be rather tenacious when I believe in something. But what if I were an ignorant woman? What if I did not read a lot? What if I had not seen mothers nursing, and did not have friends who nurse, and a sister who nursed for years? What if I had not had the sense to go on-line if no-one knew an answer? What then? I might have listened, and let the one who pushed formula as a way to turn a “skinny” baby into “fat and healthy” baby. I might have “topped him off” after a nursing session, and by doing so, might have a) diminished my milk supply, b) given him worse allergies than he has now or c) caused him to sleep more deeply. The sleeping sounds good, but at the time of this suggestion he was only ten days old and he had a real need to feed every three hours. As it was, I had to wake him up to nurse by patting his cheeks and blowing on his hair. If he’d been full of corn syrup solids, vegetable oils and lactose, he might not have been so eager to wake and breastfeed and grow big and strong.

And my twins are certainly big and strong, and I give breastfeeding the credit.