Yo baby, dope dope smoke smoke dope

Give me nickel dime, help me clear up me mind
Give me nickel dime, help me clear up me mind
Give me red wine because it make me feel fine
Make me feel fine all of the time

After UB40

Yesterday I went for a walk in a local park with a gal pal and her little girl. The three toddlers had a great time running up the stone steps, playing in the fountain and tearing around on the ten acre lawn. It was hotter than a crotch in leather pants, so we the Mamas were a bit lethargic, as we stood in the shade and watched our progeny frolic.

As you know, toddlers will see something interesting, stop dead in their tracks and stare at the thing for several minutes. This happened a few times, once as one of my boys was on the stone steps, next to a balustrade. I asked my Mama friend,

“What is Baby A playing with?”

“Oh, it looks like a plastic bag with some dusty green stuff in it.”

Lethargy forgotten, I flew over to the baby and took the mini zip lock bag of drugs out of his little paws. It was indeed pot, and it looked like a dime bag. Not having “partied” in about 20 years, I am totally out of the dope smokin’ loop, not that I was ever really in one. I just saw a few things in college, ya know…. Therefore, I asked my equally experienced collegiate friend, who came over to see what the baby had found,

“D’ja think this is a nickel bag or a dime bag?”

She said, surprised, “Oh, THAT’s what they call a nickel bag! Hmm, there’s a lot in that little bag, that’s a good deal.”

She has a supportive spouse and a pretty house, and a little tucked away I think, so I suppose $5 for a joint would seem like a good deal. For me, it’s simply not worth the money, or the risk, so I put the bag on the balustrade, where the babies couldn’t reach it.

Later in the day, as we were talking about our brush with the illicit, I remarked what with pot being illegal and all, even that little bag could cause a whole lotta trouble.

“Can you imagine getting arrested for having that nickel bag in your pocket? What a drag, going to jail over five dollars worth of pot.”

“Oh, you mean “nickel bag” is really means a FIVE dollar bag? So then a “dime bag” would be ten dollars!? Well, that’s not really a bargain after all!”

Oh, I forgot; she is accustomed to a 25-cent price point. She likes to shop at tag sales.