Yo! Your highbeams are off center...

I am one of those people who notice every little thing about everybody. This is not to say I am a shallow, superficial, petty and uncaring person, no, not at all. I can be friends with people with terrible eyebrows just as easily as not! I just happen to notice their eyebrows and might mention it at some point.

A friend of mine is absolutely the opposite. She’ll notice things like the clouds are gathering overhead, and that it might rain. She’ll also observe how well a child is playing with another child, and notice what they say to each other. I’ll see them playing and think, “Hmm, I wonder where her parents got that nice Absorba sweatshirt.” I will also notice what they are saying, and how they are playing, of course! But I will see the clothes and hair thing at the same time.

Anyway, last week I noticed one of the women in my gym was committing a total gym fashion don’t. She had the matching stretchy shorts and bra top going on, and the socks were a good color for the ensemble. However, she had not adjusted her boobs in that pretty bra top, and as a result one was pointing up and the other was pointing to the side! Ooopsie! Number one, ouch!? And number two, my that looks funny! But how on earth to you go up to a total stranger and tell her that her nipples are all wonky? I’m pretty bold, but not that bold.

Dear Miss Manners, I have a little problem. A woman at my gym is distracting the entire floor with her off center nipples. How can I tell her she’s distracting us, and needs to adjust her cups? Thanks for any tips! Sincerely, Can’t Stop staring at a Strange Woman’s Crooked Boobs.

Of course I checked myself out, and my alignment was A-ok. Guys have it easier. In gym clothes, or in any kind of stretchy clothes, a guy can dress to one side or the other or can even dress “up”. It all looks fine. But a lady should dress to the front, or get herself a bra with a heavier lining. Oh, don’t worry girlfriend; if I see your boobs are out of whack, I’ll be sure to whisper a hint. I am one of those people who do notice these things, you know.