Fun with fats - Just don't swallow.

A conversation:

Who says health nuts can’t be funny?

There are some Daddies in my Friday playgroup, two rather good-looking guys in particular (you know who you are!), with whom I chit chat regularly. Today we had a conversation about hydrogenated fats that just deteriorated into such an inappropriately amusing talk; I just had to reproduce it here.

I asked these two if they had read my 2,000-word rant on the evils of hydrogenated fats. One Daddy, (the Yummy Mummy counterpart, a Hubba Hubba Hubby, if you will allow me to invent a phrase) said, “Oh, I read the first line, saw you were on a tear, and skipped to the next post! Kidding!” The other Daddy, Mister Last Weekend I Finished A Half Marathon In Under Two Hours, My, I’m So Slow (!) said, “Yes, you did come up with a long list of substitutes” and we talked about some different butter versus margarine situations. Then I said:

“Well, you know, according to my gay guy friends, Crisco is really only good for one thing…”
HHH: “Yeah, but you aren’t supposed to have unprotected penetration anymore, and doesn’t Crisco dissolve latex?”
MLWIFAHMIUTH,M,ISS: “What! Aren’t there better lubricants? People really use Crisco? What about the smell?”
Me: “I guess if you care about scent, you shouldn’t buy butter flavor. Apparently Crisco doesn't dry out too quickly.”
HHH: “Hmm, I have wondered why my friend has a big tub of Crisco in his pantry. I know he’s a cruiser, and I don’t think he likes to bake.”
Me: “Yeah, and Crisco is so much cheaper then Astroglide.”
HHH: “Not if you buy it by the case.”
MLWIFAHM..SS: “Man, whoever buys Astroglide by the case must have some serious nightlife.”
Me: “I just get the gallon jug, but it’s not exactly subtle on the nightstand. But the spray attachment I have connected to the bottle neck is really convenient.”
MLWIFAHM..SS: “Or you could get a camel back, you know, with the tube? Then you’d have all the lube you needed ON HAND.”
HHH: “Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh!”
Me: Ha ha ha ha ha!”
HHH: “It's too bad if you are health conscious, avoiding hydro-fats and using Crisco. You can’t lube up for oral play – you might consume some unintentionally.”
Me: “Reason number two not to swallow.”
HHH: “Heh Heh Heh Heh Heh!”
MLWIFAHM..SS: “Ho ho ho ho ho!”
Me: Ha ha ha ha ha!”

Then I mentioned that my DH just got his new bullwhip in the mail, and we got talking about whips and leather clothing and S&M and the conversation deteriorated again.

It was pretty funny. Man, it’s times like that, when I feel okay. The children are happy running around, the weather is gorgeous and I have two good-looking guys to have clever conversations with. Of course, the decent sleep I had last night didn’t hurt. But neither did the DH’s and my nocturnal activity.

Thanks to the Astroglide, of course.

Ba-DUM!

Edited to add: When we talked about this post, Mister LWIFAHMIUTH,M,ISS pointed out he actually ran the half marathon in 1:40 - so he's really not slow at all.