Have twins, will travel. How else can I get by?

I have been feeling a bit better lately, but the Reds are still with me. The weather has changed, the air is fresh and the skies are blue. There is a slight cool breeze about and the temperature is at that sweet 70 to 75 degrees for most of the day. However, I do not cry Callooh, Callay, as I greet the Frabjous day - the boys are so close to being two, it’s practically here. Baby B is strong, willful and set in his ways already. Plus he says NO! to everything, whether or not he really means it. Baby A will set his little mind on something and scream until his dreams are fulfilled. One must admire their determination to succeed; I wonder if that determination will stay with them? I feel I need to find a safe place for them a few days a week, like a pre-pre-pre-school or something, just so I can think. Now I know why my mother is insane – my brother and sister and I drove her to it.

My father tells stories of the brave and determined things I did, and of my resoluteness as a child. Apparently when I was four or five a family friend was in the swimming pool and I was standing at the edge. He said, “Jump!” So I did. As legend and song would have it, I almost drowned the man by landing with my feet on his chest. Well, he said jump, didn’t he? We all become less fearless and more careful with time, so I must tell myself that my twins will not be so impossible for too much longer. And impossible they can be!

The other day, at the library group I used to attend, Baby B was feeling grouchy. He hadn’t slept well, and he needed food. However, he is getting another tooth, his mouth is undoubtedly sore, he won’t eat, and therefore he is a crank-monster. He arrived early and shuffled around the blocks and books for a bit, then wanted to be held. After a while, he wanted to be put down to examine the blocks and books again. He got into a little tussle with one of the other 2 year old boys over a particular item, and when the item did not come his way, he chomped down on the little boy. Man oh man, was it scream central!

Now, I am fully aware that a bite hurts; I have been bitten SOOOO many times I couldn’t even try to tell you how many. All babies bite at some point, out of frustration, out of pain from teething, or just simply accidentally. Don’t people know this? The boy’s mother was not understanding at all, in fact she barely looked at me as I apologized all over the place, hustled my babies out of the room and gave Baby B as stern talking to. Then I went back and said, “I am so sorry, he’s just a baby and he’s teething,” over and over to the little boy, who was still in tears. If my boys cried for twenty minutes every time one of them bit the other, I’d never have a second’s quiet in the house.

It’s too bad, but I won’t be able to go back to that reading room. Hump, and my boys like the things they had there. But I do still have my two playgroups and there are more libraries to explore.

I checked out a new one today. After the boys and I went for our 8:00 walk, and after we ran an errand in the next town, and after we hit Trader Joe’s at 10, we went to a nearby town’s story time at 11:00. Baby A, who woke up at 6:00AM, fell asleep on the way from T.J.’s to the library, so he was a bit crabby at waking up when I moved him to the stroller. Now before y’all ask yerselves, “Well, why didn’t she just bag the library and continue to the park? You can have a sleeping baby at the park” let me remind you Baby B was awake. He is Mister Determination and he wanted to go get the hell outta the car. He was totally letting me know, so my hand was really forced. When we got inside, I felt good about the decision; the story-reading librarian was extremely sweet and animated and the room is very pretty. However, an announcement was made: Story time is now on Mondays at 10:30! Darn! That’s in the middle of my favorite playgroup. Well, cross this location off. Second strike: the other librarian made a bit of a fuss when I changed a diaper (just pee) in a corner of a totally deserted arts and crafts area, while Baby A pushed a chair around the room.

“That baby is pushing chairs around! Hey! You ARE going to take that diaper away with you?” asked the grumpy librarian.
“Oh, yes. I'll stop him in a minute and I have the scented trash bag right here!” I held it up and put the diaper in it right away.
“Don’t forget to take that diaper away with you.”

Eagle eyed with crossed arms, she watched until I had dressed Baby B, put the diaper in my bag and took Baby A away from the chair. Then she sat down at her desk again.

Ummm, #1, I heard ya the first time, and thanks for making me feel comfortable! I have TWINS! I can't change a diaper and physically restrain a naughty boy at the same time. I'm not about to stop the changing process and let Baby B run around naked bottomed in a strange place to stop Baby A moving a chair! And Library Lady? #2, why were you just standing there? Why not stop the chair pushing if it's a problem? Why not just gently tell me there is a no-diaper policy on the children’s floor? Then, #3, how about letting me know that the restroom is on the first floor and there is no ladies’ room near the children’s area is on the third floor? Since I was obviously new, how the heck was I supposed to figure that out? I was a trifle upset by the experience, which was made worse by the fact I only had one new diaper with me. I hate being unprepared, and I had planned on being at the playground by 12:00 to meet a pal after the story time.

So I had to go all the way back home before we wert to the park, and as a result of the additional driving, Baby B feel asleep at 12:30. I managed to get him into the stroller and got to the play ground area and started Baby A on his belated lunch (it was about 1:00 at this point). Then Baby B woke up, all pissy. Whew.

We all did eventually settle down, they both ate, and another friend turned up. we had some cheese samdwiches, milk and popsicles from the ice cream truck. We finally left the park by 3:45 or so. On the way to the highway, Baby A feel asleep again. Good. But Baby B, who I really wanted to get to sleep, because I had woken him up too early from his nap before, was resisting. He was glazed like a donut and was yawing away, but he was also interested in the passing scenery and the sun shining. He was keeping himself awake by chit chatting away in his rolling barca-lounger.

Like a saner Maria Wyeth from Play it as it Lays, I took a ride on the highway, for because. I went past our exit on purpose and took the long way home. I drove my babies on the local highways, snug in our steel cocoon, the wind from the wide-open windows whipping about what’s left of my hair. I had the radio on and allowed the drone of NPR and the hum of the wheels lull the boy to sleep. It took him a little bit of time to fall asleep, but he did. Whew! Then I really needed to get home and go pee and just be alone with my thoughts for few minutes.

I got them home by 4:45 and managed to go to the bathroom (first time that day!) and get the groceries away.

Then Baby B woke up. Crying.

There’s no rest for the wicked, is there?