A few of my favorite things, la la la

(To the tune of The Sound of Music's My favorite things)

Hatchets and mallets and sharp little pliers,
Steak knives and bread knives and Daddy’s screwdrivers,
Fourth of July rockets tied up with strings,
These are a few of a toddler’s playthings.

Deep sigh.

Those of you who have, or have had, or those who know someone with a two year old, this is nothing new. It’s the familiar tune; is baby proofed and sparsely furnished, and everything dangerous, flammable and sharp is put away, locked away or given away. But they still manage to find a way to get their little paws into the dining room buffet and select a carving knife to amuse themselves with. The concern goes from choking hazard to stabbing hazard at this age.

At this age, they are also super stubborn, as y’all already know. A dear friend’s sweet daughter, the girly girl type, who has always been determined, is now following The Two-year old’s Bill of Rights in her daily activities We met at a café for dinner one evening last week, and this little one, who is two and a half, was wearing a Halloween costume with a witch hat. Her mother could only say, “She’s two.” Ah, yes. 'nuff said. I too am doing everything I can these days to keep myself and the babies happy, without sacrificing too much of my own, or their own, rights as people. For example, today Baby B decided he didn’t want to go to school. It’s true he was a little sick, he had thrown up in the wee hours. (It was my/his own fault; his advent calendar was on a window sill, in a location where, with a chair, he could access it, and he ate all 24 pieces of chocolate that were supposed to be consumed over a month to mark the days to Christmas. According to Baby B Christmas is coming early this year…) The long and short is he didn’t want to go to school, so I had a baby to play with for the three hours I had planned on using for the gym.

Deep sigh.

They are just so normal. It’s nice to know that Baby B’s temper tantrums, consisting of him throwing his body down, kicking his legs and pounding his fists on the linoleum, howling, is classic textbook material. It’s also nice to know that Baby A’s way of saying, “NO! No, Meow Meow down, no table Meow Meow!” is just the toddler way of establishing his superiority over a “lesser” creature. It’s also good to see that everyday they add more words and songs and games to their repertoire. (Have you ever heard a two year old sing the Beatles Hey Bulldog? It’s so hilarious, especially when they start barking.)

It’s also very two to want to help Mommy and Daddy around the house, and to want to keep the place neat and organized. Apparently the two year old thing is order and familiarity. They like to have the same things in the same place all the time. This suits me down to the ground. They know how to hang up their coats and how to put their shoes on the shoe rack so as not to track dirt into the house. Now all we need to work on is teaching Baby B to put his knives away when he’s finished stabbing the cats to death, and we’re golden.

Except he uses those plastic knives from Ikea, so the cats usually don’t notice, or they get up and walk away mid stab. It must be so frustrating to be a toddler, it’s so difficult getting anything accomplished...