The Non Diet, Part Two and a half
More on body image, and how others see me...
I must be exuding good vibes or something. I seem to be surrounded by sympathetic men these days.
Just this morning, at another of my playgroups, I was chit chatting with a stay home Daddy I know, who has a little girl. He and I were discussing children and their propensity for nudity in public places, like the park, the library and the playground. I commented on my nudie biscuit, Baby B, who had spilled apple juice on his shirt, and demanded I remove it. Then, as a result of feeling the refreshing breezes on his skin, he decided he wanted all his clothes off; hence the name – Nudie Biscuit. We both think it’s great that little children have no shame about their bodies, and he is concerned about his little girl, because his mother in law is highly critical. He hopes she doesn’t get all crazy about her figure as she grows up, and I hope my boys stay happy about being naked for a long time.
I said, “It’s so sweet to see him, naked and happy in a public park. I wonder when the shyness will emerge, or if he will ever be ashamed of what he looks like. I hope he is never ashamed, but who knows? I’m pretty confident as a rule, but feel embarrassed of my body a lot.”
My friend said, “Shame is a learned behavior. There must have been someone on your life who made you feel less than worthy because of your appearance.”
I said: ‘Yes, my blog beleaguered mother can be fingered as the one who gave me a complex, by constantly telling me I was fat, short and clumsy.”
He said: “Well it must be nice for you to see her these days, because right now, you look fantastic.”
Is it okay to be a little bit in love with a guy from a playgroup? At least, I was a little emotional at that moment.
posted by Mother of Twins & More @ 5:15 PM
2 Comments:
Although Mommy Dearest certainly shares some of the blame, let us not forget our lovely society, which tells us women at every twist and turn we take that we should be thin and well-toned. Even models have their flaws "erased" before the photos of them go to print. (I used to work for Sports Illustrated magazine, and in preparing to go to print with its annual, infamous Swimsuit Issue, the color of the cover model's bathing suit could be changed with the click of a computer key. Just think what can be done with unsightly cellulite or the stray wrinkle or two!) One of the books I read back in the 1980s is titled, "Fat is a Feminist Issue." Gee, I wonder why? Mommy Dearest was probably blasted with the same kind of societal brain-washing pressure, which she then passed on to you. (This is an example of what I think is meant by the biblical phrase, "The sins of the fathers [and mothers] shall be visited upon their children." They pass on to us what was passed on to them and left unresolved.) I once heard a meditation on the topic of healing, in which the speaker, who had had to use a crutch for a good part of the year and thus had been thrust into the existence of someone disabled, made the point that we are all broken in some way, whether we look like it or not, and that we are all in need of healing. Dear Mother of Twins, perhaps you aren't, in actuality, broken in the body category, but you think you are, and it's the thinking that needs healing, not the body!
By the way, your stay-at-home daddy friend really did say the sweetest thing. Of course you would be a little in love with him!
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