Oral Surgey is scary

Some pals and I share the common disorder of grinding our teeth in our sleep. Since this causes gum recession (yikes) and may necessitate oral surgery (double yikes!) this is something we need to deal with. I have taken to doing relaxation exercises before bed. I have found that a few yoga postures and a double Harvey Wallbanger generally do the trick. I’m out so cold I can’t shut my mouth, let alone grind my teeth. Another friend wears a mouth guard, which she has bitten through already. (Triple yikes!)

The third friend, a new-bee in the world of tooth grinding, was recommended wearing a mouth guard by his dental care practitioner. Except this fella referred to it as an “appliance”.


Man, did I get a big he-haw out of that! I asked him if he could use any appliance he liked; a toaster, a coffee maker, microwave? I can just picture the poor guy with a blender strapped to his chest all night. Of course, if he decides to add frozen margaritas to his nightly ritual (for relaxation purposes only, naturally) a blender could come in handy. Or maybe he could try a freezer! But that might not count. It could be considered a “large” appliance. Hmm, let’s call Sears…